Pursuing Dreams: July 2007

Saturday, 7 July 2007

Dreaming..?

Although I've been here for over four months, it still feels like this is a dream. Time seems to be standing still and I feel as though I only moved to Italy last week.

I ADORE living in Firenze and feel as though this is where I'm met to be at this point in my life.

Life is essentially simple and I'm very happy. BLISSFULLY HAPPPY...

I started working full time at Casini, Pitti Palace a month ago. I work in both their stores. The first is an exclusive and beautiful shop which sells accessories and clothing for women (all Italian designers and natural fabrics). The adjacent second store, sells mens and ladies leather coats, shoes, brief cases, wallets, bags and belts. The most challenging aspect of work, is trying to comprehend their instructions when conveyed in frenetic Italian speech and stress levels in the store are high.Naturally this is a world away from my career, career aspirations and professional comfort zone, but for now I'm okay with that. I feel secure that I'm an intelligent, capable and resilient individual and that I can learn from this new experience and the people around me.

Each day I kayak for an hour in the mornings before work and then in the evenings I'm free to play - to meet up with friends in ambient wine bars for an appertivo (or two), go to a friends house for a candlelit dinner vat their villa, attend contemporary art exhibits, theatre or dance shows, or sit on the Ponte near San Spirito, eating an ice cream at sunset whilst watching the crowds that past. I've made friends with some of the girls from work and have started swimming two nights a week at a local outdoor swimming pool. There are so many beautiful visual memories that I just feel like I'm dreaming.

I believe that I first fell-in-love with Italy as a country, a culture and its traditions when I was 23 years old; but I've somehow I've also imagined that I'd fall-in-love-in-Italy one day... Although I'm reluctant to say I'm in love because it may be too soon and I don't want to focus on that, 7 weeks ago whilst kayaking at the Firenze Rowing Club I met someone very special. Marco the handsome Florentine architect and we have be together every day since. He is beautiful. Really beautiful and I'm swimming in a sea of happiness. I feel secure, content, cherished, adored, stimulated, and sufficiently challenged. Gradually, he is etching his name and the memory into my life.

Everything is going well, however we recently litigated about a clash in our dreams. Naturally, I want to inevitably get married and have a family and Marco has already fulfilled these dreams and needs. I understand his situation, but am also in a dilemma, because these dreams are important to me and I want to see them fulfilled with the man I love.

As a result of lengthy discussions, I recently thought: What is more important 'Finding my soul mate? Or finding my husband and the father of my children?'. With Marco there is incredible synergy, natural energy and shared passions. I never thought I'd met a man who complemented me in every dimension of my life (art, theatre, food, sport, and culture) as he does. I don't know what the answer is or where this will go.. and I don't care either, because for now, I just want to be free to enjoy his companionship, attention and tenderness.

The weather is constantly hot and humidity is really high. Which makes walking through Firenze or dressing elegantly for work an immense challenge. Tomorrow I have the day off, so I'm heading to the Tuscan coast, Monte Argentario with Marco.

With the help of some friends, I recently relocated my belongings from Baccio da Montelupo to my 'own' apartment in San Frediano, in the heart of Firenze. We moved all my gear on a balmy Saturday night at 2.30am and spent the rest of the morning celebrating with red wine, pizza and laughter. We felt like adolescents. It was fun!

New address: Via dell'Orto 2C San Frediano 50124 Firenze Tuscany ITALIA.

Please come and visit... I don't ever want to leave.