Creating inspiration

Thank you Bill Viola for your inspirational large scale installation Ocean Without a Shore, currently showing at the National gallery in Victoria. http://www.ngv.vic.gov.au/billviola/index.html

According to Bill this work is "inspired by many poets, artists and personal reflection on transfiguration. The key point is that the transformation of the Self, usually provoked by a profound inner revelation or an overwhelming sensation of clarity and fathomless emotion, overcomes the individual unit literally a 'a new light' dawns on him or her.

As Ibn al'Arabi described it: "A morning has dawned whose darkness was you".

Sometimes this dawning is of such great magnitude that the world is destined to be changed by it. Other times, a solitary mind silently alone in a room somewhere is quietly awakened, without a whisper ot ripple in the cosomos. Some of the most profound human experiences occur at time like these, arising at the outer limits of conscious awareness.

These are the 'transition zones' where experience is unstable and life is tenuous, when we are tested to our limits, and sometimes beyond. Invariably a thresholds is reached that demands to be crossed. However the decision to cross the line, whether real or imaginary is a serious one and the personal stakes can be high".

I felt that the expressions on the people depicted in his artwork, tenderly represesnted this.

The Self is an ocean without a shore
Gazing upon it has no beginning or end,
in this world and the next.
- Ibn Al Arabi (1165-1240)

Windows opening

your eyes gaze forward
the sun makes you squint
you adjust your gaze
but your eyes stay fixed
upon the horizon

the landscape shifts

moonlit eclipses a blazing sun

cool evenings follow alfresco summer days

winter woolen replaces tiny bikinis

and still your eyes fix
steady
upon the horizon


Then a breeze gently caresses your skin
you turn to see
if a window has been left open
notice muslin curtains a flutter in the breeze
and realise
there is not one
but many ajar

and suddenly your eyes
circumnavigate back
to your original focus
on the horizon

it hasn't shifted

but your perspective has
and you realise
that you are in
a good place.

Shhh...

but the other day i started to paint again.maybe it was the portraits I saw in the Archibald Exhibition on friday.don't know.but on sunday afternoon i walked into an art supplies shop and after surveying various mediums selected some watercolour paper, sable brushes and a selection of gouache paints.as i sat at my kitchen bench painting, the afternoon light and the glimpse of the bay dissipated into moonlight almost without detection.i was immersed in the essence of the moment.tranquility and calmness.like visiting an old friend.it's been too too long. i hope to visit again soon and to experience that synergy again.

Loving words

Jessica took "Winter sunrise in Brisbane" from her side balcony this morning.

She sent the photo in an email with the following inspiring, gentle and awakening words.

Jules we leave parts of us behind all over the place when we love people. Parts of my heart dwells in Norway, England, the US and Canada, NZ and in many homes across Australia where people I love are located and are sorely missed, sometimes on a daily basis sometimes just occasionally. Don't give up “I'm happy here. I am inspired, nurtured and able to achieve some goals” and go plunging back into that wild ocean of uncertainty and angst?

The only thing you can do, which is the option available to the rest of us is know that 1) you will survive, even though it doesn’t feel like it at the moment 2) if you use it wisely and prudently time really will heal all wounds even though it doesn’t feel like it at the moment and 3) if you are open to possibilities you will love again even though you can’t imagine it at the moment.

Clarity, beauty & truth.

Loving words.

Her words cradle my restless soul.

i love you Jessica

thank you Bella!

Being Jules

Happy Birthday Lamme

"Will that be a skinny latte then?"

I miss you Lamme.

Happy Birthday

Love Jules

Chariots

'Flaccos Chariot': A portrait of Paul Livingston submitted by Paul Jackson for the Archibald 2009.

In describing 'Flaccos Chariot' Paul Jackson states “do we not all long to be transported by something in our lives that will carry a special significance & leave us with indelible fond memories?”... “do we not carry within our chariot the baggage that we think we need for the journey?”

Adoring glances

Although it's nice to be called the 'gorgeous one' and to have tenderness and companionship in my intimate world again; I don't feel comfortable in this new relationship yet. I tell him that 'my heart and head is elsewhere' and to not allow 'me to seep any further into his consciousness' because I believe that it's the truth and because I want to protect him from falling in love with me.

Maybe what I'm really doing is protecting Jules, because I can't imagine falling or fragmenting again.

I enjoy his company and just want it to stay like this... besides I just got the pieces of my heart together again and I'd like to stay like this for a while.

It's hard to focus when your heart is aching.

A tribute

...The dead are never gone,
they're in the breast of a woman.,
they're in the crying of a child,
in the flaming torch.
The dead are not in earth:
they're in the dying fire..,
the weeping grasses,
whimpering rocks,
they're in the forest, they're in the house,
the dead are not dead.

- Ibn Al Arabi (1165-1240)

Wind in my sail

First there was Valentino (still my first and greatest love) then there was Peugeot and now Apollo. Cycling along the coast as the day breaks and the clouds shimmer on the waters edge, makes me smile and puts the wind in my sail.

Repose

Poet #7

Ben Ellis author of the play Poet #7 writes

"Falling out of love is called breaking-up for good reason. Memories, memories of aromas, of music, of sights of stories, all fragment. Falling in love is a rush of this in reverse, fragments pulling together"

More poetic inspiration...
http://aspectjones.blogspot.com/

No soup, just wine

Come Friday evening, the mind & body normally aches to be nestled into the folds of your doona or sofa.

Yet instead of repose you find yourself teasing thoughts from the air over the rim of a glass of red, with a new companion.
You know the kind of evening that turns your world a little onto it's toes.
An unexpected twist to a long working week.

And the stars illuminate the night sky.

Impromptu dinners are always fun.

Good luck Cathy-babe

Over endless oysters & wine this evening we celebrated Cathy's temporary departure from Melbourne.

Cathy is going to work as a clinical nurse for Indigenous communities in the Northern territory, for Remote Australian Health Corps.

I'll miss you tremendously babe and look forward to our next wine together at "The European".

You have a unique capacity to give to humanity, tremendous compassion & grace. You are cherished.

Travel safe and continue to pursue all your dreams.

Winter Jules

MIMMS

The "Black Saturday" natural disaster made me realise that it was important for me to utilise my skills, knowledge and expertise to help in future medical responses.

Over the past two days, I have be attending the Victorian Department of Human Services Major Incident and Medical Management and Support Course (MIMMS) at the Royal College of Surgeons in Melbourne. The course was stimulating and has expanded my knowledge, skills and confidence to participate in a large scale medical response.

After successfully completing the course I now am on a Victorian database of qualified medical professionals and I am now able to respond and participate in future national disasters.

Queen's Birthday weekend

When Jamilla and I were studying nursing, one of the BIGGEST social events in our calendar was the Queen's Birthday weekend. It was the official opening of the Victorian ski season (read "party opportunity"). Along with a group of our friends, we would drive up to Mt Buller after Uni on Friday afternoon and would stay at one of the ski Chalet's on the mountain. The entire weekend was full of spontaneous fun, laughter and lots of alcohol. We seriously let our hair down and partied-like-we-had-never-partied-before (or since). It was wild. Vivid and fantastical memories. Like the time we walked into the Alberg Hotel, stood in the doorway and at the top of our voices announced with our arms raised "Let the party begin, because WE have arrived!"...

Jamilla, who were those girls...? And where are they now?

Night duty

Emergency nursing allows me to utilise my personality, intellect, compassion, and my people and resource management skills. After twenty years of clinical nursing, I still adore the professional challenges, find it a privilege to be able to work so closely with people and am inspired by my medical and nursing colleagues.

As a clinical nurse specialist in emergency nursing, I never want to lose my clinical expertise, judgement, knowledge and skills. Therefore in addition to my full time position as a lecturer, I have continued to work clinically at St V's.

Given that it's the Queen's Birthday weekend, I've swapped the ski boots and party shoes* for navy flats and a stethoscope and am taking this opportunity to work a few night shifts in ED. Many of my colleagues find working night duty disruptive to their normal sleep-rest patterns, but I've always preferred the nocturnal timezone and so for me I really enjoy working night duty. Actually, whilst I was writing my masters thesis I worked full-time permanent night duty at St V's in ED for 3years.

Overnight the ED atmosphere, patient acuity and workload can vary greatly; clinical cases can range from blunt and penetrating trauma injuries following assaults and motor vehicle accidents, mental health and prevalent co mobilities issues, general medical and surgery cases, and overdoses.

Working at St V's is like dropping in to visit my extended family.

* Queen's Birthday weekend (circa 1991-93).

Carousel

I updated my blog profile tonight. The new description seems to capture the essence of now.

When friends ask "How are you Jules?" I often pause before replying. As this allows me to weigh the balance of how I'm feeling about my current situation versus desires and dreams. I know that my life is rich and that I have so much to be thankful for; but it is those things which I do not have, that makes me yearn for more.

Cathy once said that our yearning or desires is what creates the energy that moves us forward (or around in circles).

Trying to stay focused on our dreams and maintaining momentum is difficult at times. Sometimes there seems like there are endless obstacles before us. Often it seems as though the path is completely barren and with no signposts in sight.

But even if we feel as though we are standing on a carousel, it is our vision and our emotions that inspire us to keep believing.

We are what we believe.
What we believe is what we become.
And what we become is what we once believed we could be.

12 Angry Men

Over the past 5 days I have been fulfilling one of my civil duties and have been a jury member for a criminal court case. It was a stimulating, demanding and interesting experience. As in 12 Angry Men the verdict was not unanimous, so we had to be empaneled for one day to deliberate, analyse and synthesise the evidence and to debate the validity, accuracy and creditability of the witnesses. As the elected forperson I also had the responsibility of chairing our discussions and to deliver the verdict. The experience was a juxtaposition between being very intense and surreal and it is strange to know that you might never met again the people with whom you shared this intense experience with.

Darren's 40th Birthday

Happy Birthday Darren,

Your generous laugh and charm resonates through many memories of us cycling and hiking together.

With love and best wishes.

Amore: the soul's deepest voice

Amore: la piu' profonda voce dell'anima.

Il tema relativo al concetto dell' amore inteso come voce dell' anima umana, permea il tessuto filosofico di molte opere dantesche. Con il presente studio si intende rilevare, attraverso l'analisi di specifici tratti delle sue opere, il movente base di tale concetto e l'impellente necessita' umana di seguire 'la voce dell'anima', o istinto naturale, per raggiungere il massimo della propria perfezione, sia a livello morale che intellettuale.

Tale sviluppo potra' essere seguito mettendo in evidenza la dinamica di specifiche scelte umane e di fattori che, secondo il criterio del Poeta, determinerebbero l'ideale iter di perfezione.

Ten days

This morning as I walked along the coast cocooned by the crisp and misty sea air, I decided that I wanted to give myself a gift..."ten days". Ten days to pursue my ambitions.

Can it be done? Mmmm. Possibly. But it doesn't really matter whether I succeed or not, the important thing is to plunge into life and see where it takes me.

So here goes. I'll see you in ten days.

Jewels of the North

Gorgeous Florentine Jewels,

I apologise for writing in English, but my Italian is too embarrassingly scant to attempt to write in Italian.

Over the past few weeks, I have been thinking of you and hope that everyone is well. Any news...? Where is everyone going for their Summer holidays?

Autumnal weather has began to settle in Melbourne. The streets are lined with beautiful coloured leaves and bare branches. In the early morning the mist and chill which settles around the bay where I live, is very atmospheric. It has started to get cold and when I recently wore my little brown mink to work, it brought back found memories of Firenze and the conversations, laughter & friendships I shared with special people there.

I'm happy in Melbourne. I have come to accept that for now I will stay in Australia, work on my career, enjoy living by the beach, art pursuits and spending time with family and close friends.

I was fortunate to have lived in Firenze and immensely thankful for the vivid and amazing experiences and opportunities I had whilst there. The ambers from Italy continue to burn bright in my heart, and I will return, but now is not my time.

My plans to undertake the medical expedition in Tibet and present at an international health congress in South Africa later this year, have been suspended due to some health concerns. However I am considering returning to Europe for a brief holiday towards the end of the year, and I hope to return to Firenze to collect and arrange shipment of my personal belongings. Naturally when I return to Italy, I will be in contact, so that we can all be together once again.

Best wishes and love to you all.

With deep affection & fondness.

Jules

Health concerns

News: Today I received the rather daunting news from my GP that my anaemia is so bad, that I've been advised NOT to attend the Himalayan Health Exchange (medical expedition in Tibet) in October............. (sob, sob, ARGH!)

Resuscitation guidelines

This weekend, Meredith,, Jude, Janet, Sue and I attended the Spark of Life Conference in Hobart, Tasmania.

As always the conference was intriguing; however at this professional level, I find that I attend the seminars with a critical mind. Hence, rather than simply accept the research findings, I found I scrutinised and analysed the data a lot more than I have done in the past.

With the exception one presentation... Meredith articulated her research project clearly and given the amount of questions she was asked, obviously stimulated a lot of interest. Very engaging.

The conference aside, I had a wonderful time...Great wine, fabulous seafood, laughter and banter in our Pj's until late, a stroll through Salamanca markets with hot chocolate crepes and lattes and inspiring female company.

Opportunities

When one can't be in love, one has to do the things one loves.

So I have accepted the University's offer to teach Second Semester (...or more???). Before accepting new responsibility and challenges, I expressed a desperate desire for better working hours so I can pursue my many passions and maintain a life-work balance. Activities like walking along a windswept coast as 120km/hr as Antarctic winds invigorate and chill my bones is not only exciting, but my soul depends upon it.

I also stated that I was interested in combining my Academic profile with clinical experience in remote and rural nursing (Koori Health) and International Health (teaching & clinical experience). The response was positive.

I close my eyes and pray that that the opportunities I desire will arise.

Mamma

Anzac Day 2009

Happy Birthday Bella!

Breathing & be-ing

After three months of juggling the demands of work (both the workload and 12 hour days), with settling into my beach side abode and establishing a new Melbourne lifestyle, I'm feeling raw and drained.

For a few weeks I've been attributing my fatigue to 'too many late nights', a mild health concern and subsequent change in diet (including a reduction in caffeine intake...!) and my cross training regime'.. but all that aside, I think Jules is plain worn out.

Originally, I thought I'd come back to Australia and settle in Melbourne for no longer than 6months or just long enough to get things sorted for my return to Italy. I definitely wasn't planning on letting the dust settle under my feet. But it seems that things have changed. During the time I've been home in Melbourne one decision seems to have led to another and sorting through these things has been more demanding and time consuming than I had anticipated.

Although I haven't lost the 'dream' to return to my home in Italy to live and work, I don't want to return to repeat the same experiences I've already had there or to end up struggling like so many other ambitious ex patriates.

I feel like it's time to achieve more and to 'live' without looking to the past or the future.

Just like everyone I'm striving for love, peace and happiness.

I had it here and I found it there. I'm sure that I'll find it where ever I go, because it is within me.

In Italy I achieved this by living simply. I went to Italy with one solitary preconception "to live in Italy for 12months"; but the incredible sensations, experiences and people who I shared my life in Italy with, burnt beauty and magic into my mind, heart and soul and transformed me. I want more of this... but perhaps now is not the moment for more.

At times being in Melbourne feels like I'm slipping back into my cocoon and I yearn for the tender vistas of Bella Firenze and beyond, but living overseas made me realise how capable and courageous I am and that I can achieve ANYTHING.

So now I think it's time that I let Australia's landscape and it's people transform me.

I'm not standing on the edge of the cliff waiting to free fall. I'm back on the mountain climbing slowly step by step to my uncertain but exciting destiny.

It's time to breathe & be.

Buon compleanno Florentine Prince

Caro Marco

"Buon compleanno e auguri "

Il tempo inseme era mervigliso e dolce sogni.

Ti penso e spero che sei felice.

Con affetto Jules

Murray2Moyne

The 400km Murray2Moyne... my bum won't forget this challenge in a hurray.

I think Steve's comments below have summarised the weekend and our idosyncratic personalities.

Morning all, I hope you aren’t as sore and tired as I am but I just wanted to say thanks for a top weekend.

Positives from the trip: A lot of laughs; almost enough sledging; just enough sugar; a support crew that was outstanding; perfect amount of hot cross buns; heaps of food (next year we will increase the quantity of Mystery Food Items though); brekky in our rooms at Hamilton…thanks Kris; the Green Machine dragging me along all weekend…thanks team; watching the Red team implode…great entertainment; and of course Frank's insightful analysis "The Red team are wooses and wankers". I think we all agree.

Improvements for next year: Significantly less wind hopefully (in my cabin anyway); slightly more distance between my bed and Frank's….far enough that he can't throw his arm over me in the middle of the night!; more team meetings (you just can't have enough), less wedgies (JA…Russ made me say this), slightly faster service at the All Rivers for dinner. Either that or we take over the kitchen and cook our own; More of Clive's music…only maybe include just a few with words that we can recognise?; ......and finally, definitely far less of this warm and fuzzy team stuff. We need to harden up!

All in all…a great weekend.
Look forward to a ride soon
Cheers steve

Misplaced

On the whole everything is OK. Yet I feel as though I've missing something.

I know that I'm happiest and most inspired when I'm doing-it-all
- when I can share my passions with someone special.
At the moment,
I don't have that someone in my life
but I have plenty of opportunities to pursue my passions.

Life is beautiful but at times a little silent.
It would be nice to be able to share my dreams, hopes and passions with someone.
It would be nice to be able to be completely me with someone.
To be understood, cherished, nurtured and loved.

All my life I've been looking out at the horizon.
Now I want to be accompanied on the shore.

I want to embrace and share my life with someone.

Teaching at ACU

Jules teaching resuscitation principles at ACU (Melbourne).

Happy Birthday Mares

"Happy Birthday Gorgeous Mares"

Although this image is old, it is one of my favourites as it captures the essence of us when we are together or think of one another. I'm blessed to have you in my life. A beautiful woman - a generous & empathic friend - an inspiration as a loving partner & wife - part muse, part spiritual guide.

Love you.

Andrea and Luke's wedding 1995

(left to right: Jules, Bron, Mares & Luke)

Arts Events

Over the past three weeks, I have been overdosing on Arts Events. Melbourne is a buzz with amazing and varied events and my friends and I are indulging blissfully in as many events as our bank and time accounts will permit.

I've been to heart rendering and visually engaging french films (Seraphina, Love me no more, Summer Hours), attended extraordinary contemporary dance performances (Lawn, Morphia series, Inerta), and tonight after we meet at The European for a glass of Moscato or vino rosso, we will be attending a performance by an international jazz pianist at Bennett's Lane and then Metamorphosis (the student fashion show) at Central Pier, Docklands.

I have the best of both worlds - I'm living by the sea and work/play in the city.

On the weekend after having brunch with Mum, Bruno, Christy, Matthew and baby James in Elwood, we collected shells and sand between the folds of our hemmed up jeans. As we walked along the beach, the wind from the surf was fierce and the air crisp and seeing their wide eyes, flushed cheeks and the sound of their playful laughter made me happy.

Life is beautiful and inspiring.

My heart is singing.

Ah "Bella Firenze" ... you made me grow. You made me face my heart's desires, deal with insecurities, vulnerabilities and sorrow and find the courage to live like there is no tomorrow.

Dream seeds

Jules today, sipping a latte at a favourite cafe in Elwood.

The beach, my little apartment and many more dreams lie at the end of the street.

According to Tracey Clark http://www.traceyclark.com/ it is not a matter of if but rather when our dreams will come to fruition. I like her perspective. It resonates with me and my life philosophy.

... "As my recently planted Dream Seeds lay quietly sit beneath the surface of my life, they are working, silently but steadily gaining their own momentum. I am nurturing them tenderly as I know that my faithful unwavering practice will eventually lead to a harvest. There is nothing I can do to speed the process so instead, as I hold in my heart excitement for the fruition of my Dreams, as my mouth waters in anticipation of the juicy adventures that are the horizon, I will prepare. I will ready my heart and soul. I will wash the dishes and do the laundry. I will take the time to tidy my home honoring what is to come. I will wake each morning to my watering can and tend to my Dreams but I will not rush them. And I certainly will not doubt them. I will be patient and approach each day knowing that I don’t have much time to until my Dreams are ripe on the vine. I want to be ready for the harvest; to have much of the work out of the way so that when my Dreams are ready I will be too."

Wind & sea

As I cycled along the ocean path from St Kilda to Elwood through the moonlit night, the day's heat sat comfortably in the air. With the wind caressing my face, I peddled along the sandy path admiring the shimmering beauty of the ocean and filled my soul with more happiness.

What an experience. It's every thing I've always dreamt of and so much more...

Road less travelled

I first read Robert Frost's novel "The Road Less Travelled" in 1995. Since then I have often reflected upon the sentiments conveyed and today these words found me.

"Two roads diverge in a wood and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference."

Another Saturday in Melbourne

Playing with paint

Trying to be the best version of me that I can be.

Living my dreams.

Embracing every moment.

Following my heart.

While you were sleeping

A time for sleeping.. creating... and play. Lot's of play!

Autumn begins

The light in my apartment has subtly began to change.
Autumnal leaves nestles along the fence.
The ocean is grey and green and cooler than the last time I swam.
I wake up sleepy and yearn to lie beneath my doona for another 10minutes.
Nearly time to buy leek & pumpkin and prepare home made soups.
Yesterday my leather coat from Florence hung over my office chair.
It's raining outside and plans to cycle have been canceled.

This week I found inspiration whilst...

visiting some art galleries, watching french films, eating with friends in Melbourne's lane ways, doing yoga at dawn, and watching the sun set over the ocean at Elwood.

New inspirations.

The new rhythm in my life is delightful.

Ideas are brewing - it's time to start painting.

It's March 1st two thousand and nine.

48 Portraits

"Each of Peter Westwoods video works - How to Fit (2008) How to Fall (without hurting yourself) (2009) and How to Balance (2009) - offer insights into the kind of strategies required to function within a society."

I found the commentary attached to the exhibition "48 Portraits" was more thought provoking and inspiring than Peter Westwoods videos.

A pearl of a day

Elizabeth Street, Melbourne

Coast 2 Country

Our traditional weekend away continued this weekend as Meredith, Judith, Sue, Janet & I went to Warragul. Unfortunately Maria & Toni weren't able to join us.

As is the nature of our relationship, we talked and discussed professional issues and ideas over wine and dinner.. and the next morning whilst eating bacon and eggs and coffee.

These amazing women continue to inspire and professionally nurture me.

Run away

Life has a way of running away from us...

I barely remember the time when my toes were as small as Matthew & James.

When life was blissfully carefree and seemingly innocent.

Then as we start to run along the sand and squeal at the appearance of 'washed-up' jelly fish

- I almost catch a glimpse.

Papa

"Happy Birthday".

Anais Nin

"I will not be just a tourist in the world of images. just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy".

Jamilla's Birthday Soiree

(Clockwise from back left)

Illona, Suz, Jules, Lee, Jamilla & Cathy

Jamilla it's your Birthday and time to toast to all that you are. A caring person, a loyal & empathic friend, the fairy in my garden, my personal & professional muse, confidant, play-friend, the girl with a gorgeous laugh, diamond dancing eyes, lions courage, sensitive, romantic, beautiful...just so beautiful.

Sweet dreams my dear friend.

"Happy Birthday Bella".

Love you.

Jules

Dissipation

As I walk across the bridge admiring the view I find myself occasionally looking over my shoulder. This sudden movement is spontaneous. Almost instinctive. It takes me by surprise.

Why?

Why do I reflect again and again...?

Why can't I simply let the memory of you & us go?

You have.

Because...

I was really happy.

I felt cherished,

free,

and entwined.

For the first time in my life -

I dived deep into the ocean,

soared above the clouds,

Lied beside you in silence,

and stillness,

and complete happiness.

But you already know all of this.

Because...

It was 'our' story.

We lived, breathed, walked, danced,

and played

in the cocoon we built together.

It was beautiful.

Really beautiful.

Wasn't it?

But it was then -

and 'then' is now a long time ago.

Silence clears lingering ambiguity.

I no longer have any place in

- your heart,

- your mind,

- your memories.

All that I held onto is dissipating.

Not even doubts,

angst,

tears,

pain,

or grief lingers.

Just every now and again,

as I wedge my toes into the sand

I remember things....

Sunset visions

Yesterday the windows of the gym at the St Kilda Seabaths framed a poetic scene of a blazing sun setting across a crystal still sea. Tonight as I sat on the foreshore at susnet, happily sipping a cider, I watched the joggers, cyclists, people walking their dogs, couples and fellow beach lovers lazying on the beach.... we are all so different and yet all singing the one tune.

Slowly unwrapping bliss

Like the layers of a parcel that are slowly shed as the surprise parcel is past around the circle of children; slowly I've unwrapping & discovering moments of pure bliss.

Some days it's the scent of the sea breeze or the taste of the salt air against my lips as I ride along the beach that causes a smile to lighten my face. Last week it was a gesture from the young man at my 'local' pasterie - he had beautifully presented in a gift box the crostini's I had ordered to take home & share with my family. On the weekend it was the synergistic and inspiring conversations I had with some locals I met. And yesterday it was the spiral curled yoga teacher who seemed to balance a quirky sense of humor with a strict attention to correct posturing.

Bubbles under the sea

As my hands stretched out to grab another handful of water and my body glided effortlessly with the current, bubbles circled around my arms. Beneath the surface of the water the ocean looked a mix of green and blue. I flipped and summersaulted through the water and let the waves immerse me.

Beauty, stillness, silence.

I feel like I've been here before. Or that I've arrived at the place where I was always meant to be.

I can't believe that I'm living by the sea with Italy in my heart.

Happiness. Bliss.

Believing

Last year, I gathered a series of images & collaged them together to create a 'dream board'. One of the images was a photo of some colorful calligraphy brushes. Today whilst I was browsing a shop down the road from where I am living, I recognised the beautiful Mongolian calligraphy brushes.

Interesting...

Swim-a-thon

Overnight (from 2am-9am) I swam with my colleagues from St V's ED in the MS Mega Swim. A 24 hour relay swim at the Fitzroy Pool held to raise money for people with Multiple Sclerosis.

Although the "Saints & Swimmers" didn't whip up a frenzy in the pool, we had a jovial and fun time together and as always continuously ate, talked, laughed, exchanged bizarre anecdotal, crude and revealing stories.

This is the 5th year that we have participated. There is always great camaraderie within the team which consists of doctors, nurses & paramedics.

Some of our colleagues that have participated in previous years or who are unable to participate, and some of our family and friends often come to the pool (particualrly overnight) to bring us food, warm clothes and to cheer us on and support us.

Their humanity and spirit inspires me.

Felicita

A list of dreams was etched last year - a home by the sea, a career opportunity that challenges & inspires me, expression, creativity, synergy & passion.

Burning bright in the darkness

The Victorian Bush Fires on Saturday February 7th, 2009 devastated the homes, lives and communities of Marysville, Kinglake, Yea and neighboring areas. Hundreds of people died in their homes, huddled together in community halls, and in their cars as they tried to escape the fires.

The human suffering and loss of those directly involved in the bush fires is unimaginable.

Everyday I pray for those who have died, the family & friends of those still missing, for those who have survived and for all those individuals and professionals who had the courage to walk along side and help the people affected by the bush fires and to bring light in their darkest hour

Sand between our toes

The girls have just left and I find myself standing alone in the middle of this unfamiliar room with half sorted boxes, some empty bottles of beer and a Moscato d'Asti and I'm too excited to go to bed even though I'm physically exhausted.

After spending the entire day unpacking boxes, sorting, rearranging furniture, cleaning and settling into my new home in Elwood; tonight (as is our tradition) Suz, Jamilla & Lee came around to help me 'celebrate'.

Earlier in the evening when Jamilla yelled out to me to join her for a dip in the ocean, my mind was miles away. I was content to just stand by the waters edge talking to Suz & Lee. But with her familiar squeal (a mixture of joy and spunk)...

"Come on Jules You know you'll love it once your in.. Yeah it's a bit cold - but it's beautiful!"

The memory of past dares, joy and new beginnings blended into this moment and before I knew it I too was immersed it it's clear waters and crashing waves.

After a quick swim in the ocean and a spectacular sunset, we walked across the road and back to my place with some beach towels around our shoulders and sand between our toes. Then we lounged about on tossed pillows chatting as we ate angel hair pasta served with boccocinni cheese, cherry tomatoes and fresh basil and listened to the sound of the passing traffic.

I feel very happy and blessed right now. Good friends, the sea, and an Aussie Summer.

Now I'm looking forward to diving deep under my quilt and enjoying my first nights sleep in a provincial sleigh bed in my home by the sea.. and waking up in the morning to the smell of coffee.

No longer 'Fragile'

At 5:43pm this afternoon, The White Glove Removalists finished transporting my furniture and personal belongings from storage into my new abode in Elwood.

As I stood in the middle of the empty room, with the afternoon sun streaming in through the open doors and the music of the street humming in the background; I felt exhausted, but quietly content. I feel like I'm about to embark upon a new journey and I no longer feel "fragile" as I did when I packed my life into these boxes 2 years ago.