Run away

Life has a way of running away from us...

I barely remember the time when my toes were as small as Matthew & James.

When life was blissfully carefree and seemingly innocent.

Then as we start to run along the sand and squeal at the appearance of 'washed-up' jelly fish

- I almost catch a glimpse.

Papa

"Happy Birthday".

Anais Nin

"I will not be just a tourist in the world of images. just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy".

Jamilla's Birthday Soiree

(Clockwise from back left)

Illona, Suz, Jules, Lee, Jamilla & Cathy

Jamilla it's your Birthday and time to toast to all that you are. A caring person, a loyal & empathic friend, the fairy in my garden, my personal & professional muse, confidant, play-friend, the girl with a gorgeous laugh, diamond dancing eyes, lions courage, sensitive, romantic, beautiful...just so beautiful.

Sweet dreams my dear friend.

"Happy Birthday Bella".

Love you.

Jules

Dissipation

As I walk across the bridge admiring the view I find myself occasionally looking over my shoulder. This sudden movement is spontaneous. Almost instinctive. It takes me by surprise.

Why?

Why do I reflect again and again...?

Why can't I simply let the memory of you & us go?

You have.

Because...

I was really happy.

I felt cherished,

free,

and entwined.

For the first time in my life -

I dived deep into the ocean,

soared above the clouds,

Lied beside you in silence,

and stillness,

and complete happiness.

But you already know all of this.

Because...

It was 'our' story.

We lived, breathed, walked, danced,

and played

in the cocoon we built together.

It was beautiful.

Really beautiful.

Wasn't it?

But it was then -

and 'then' is now a long time ago.

Silence clears lingering ambiguity.

I no longer have any place in

- your heart,

- your mind,

- your memories.

All that I held onto is dissipating.

Not even doubts,

angst,

tears,

pain,

or grief lingers.

Just every now and again,

as I wedge my toes into the sand

I remember things....

Sunset visions

Yesterday the windows of the gym at the St Kilda Seabaths framed a poetic scene of a blazing sun setting across a crystal still sea. Tonight as I sat on the foreshore at susnet, happily sipping a cider, I watched the joggers, cyclists, people walking their dogs, couples and fellow beach lovers lazying on the beach.... we are all so different and yet all singing the one tune.

Slowly unwrapping bliss

Like the layers of a parcel that are slowly shed as the surprise parcel is past around the circle of children; slowly I've unwrapping & discovering moments of pure bliss.

Some days it's the scent of the sea breeze or the taste of the salt air against my lips as I ride along the beach that causes a smile to lighten my face. Last week it was a gesture from the young man at my 'local' pasterie - he had beautifully presented in a gift box the crostini's I had ordered to take home & share with my family. On the weekend it was the synergistic and inspiring conversations I had with some locals I met. And yesterday it was the spiral curled yoga teacher who seemed to balance a quirky sense of humor with a strict attention to correct posturing.

Bubbles under the sea

As my hands stretched out to grab another handful of water and my body glided effortlessly with the current, bubbles circled around my arms. Beneath the surface of the water the ocean looked a mix of green and blue. I flipped and summersaulted through the water and let the waves immerse me.

Beauty, stillness, silence.

I feel like I've been here before. Or that I've arrived at the place where I was always meant to be.

I can't believe that I'm living by the sea with Italy in my heart.

Happiness. Bliss.

Believing

Last year, I gathered a series of images & collaged them together to create a 'dream board'. One of the images was a photo of some colorful calligraphy brushes. Today whilst I was browsing a shop down the road from where I am living, I recognised the beautiful Mongolian calligraphy brushes.

Interesting...

Swim-a-thon

Overnight (from 2am-9am) I swam with my colleagues from St V's ED in the MS Mega Swim. A 24 hour relay swim at the Fitzroy Pool held to raise money for people with Multiple Sclerosis.

Although the "Saints & Swimmers" didn't whip up a frenzy in the pool, we had a jovial and fun time together and as always continuously ate, talked, laughed, exchanged bizarre anecdotal, crude and revealing stories.

This is the 5th year that we have participated. There is always great camaraderie within the team which consists of doctors, nurses & paramedics.

Some of our colleagues that have participated in previous years or who are unable to participate, and some of our family and friends often come to the pool (particualrly overnight) to bring us food, warm clothes and to cheer us on and support us.

Their humanity and spirit inspires me.

Felicita

A list of dreams was etched last year - a home by the sea, a career opportunity that challenges & inspires me, expression, creativity, synergy & passion.

Burning bright in the darkness

The Victorian Bush Fires on Saturday February 7th, 2009 devastated the homes, lives and communities of Marysville, Kinglake, Yea and neighboring areas. Hundreds of people died in their homes, huddled together in community halls, and in their cars as they tried to escape the fires.

The human suffering and loss of those directly involved in the bush fires is unimaginable.

Everyday I pray for those who have died, the family & friends of those still missing, for those who have survived and for all those individuals and professionals who had the courage to walk along side and help the people affected by the bush fires and to bring light in their darkest hour

Sand between our toes

The girls have just left and I find myself standing alone in the middle of this unfamiliar room with half sorted boxes, some empty bottles of beer and a Moscato d'Asti and I'm too excited to go to bed even though I'm physically exhausted.

After spending the entire day unpacking boxes, sorting, rearranging furniture, cleaning and settling into my new home in Elwood; tonight (as is our tradition) Suz, Jamilla & Lee came around to help me 'celebrate'.

Earlier in the evening when Jamilla yelled out to me to join her for a dip in the ocean, my mind was miles away. I was content to just stand by the waters edge talking to Suz & Lee. But with her familiar squeal (a mixture of joy and spunk)...

"Come on Jules You know you'll love it once your in.. Yeah it's a bit cold - but it's beautiful!"

The memory of past dares, joy and new beginnings blended into this moment and before I knew it I too was immersed it it's clear waters and crashing waves.

After a quick swim in the ocean and a spectacular sunset, we walked across the road and back to my place with some beach towels around our shoulders and sand between our toes. Then we lounged about on tossed pillows chatting as we ate angel hair pasta served with boccocinni cheese, cherry tomatoes and fresh basil and listened to the sound of the passing traffic.

I feel very happy and blessed right now. Good friends, the sea, and an Aussie Summer.

Now I'm looking forward to diving deep under my quilt and enjoying my first nights sleep in a provincial sleigh bed in my home by the sea.. and waking up in the morning to the smell of coffee.

No longer 'Fragile'

At 5:43pm this afternoon, The White Glove Removalists finished transporting my furniture and personal belongings from storage into my new abode in Elwood.

As I stood in the middle of the empty room, with the afternoon sun streaming in through the open doors and the music of the street humming in the background; I felt exhausted, but quietly content. I feel like I'm about to embark upon a new journey and I no longer feel "fragile" as I did when I packed my life into these boxes 2 years ago.

An exciting time

As I cycle to & from work in the early morning & late afternoon, the wind whips through my curls, the sun shines gently upon my face, and my spirit feels inspired.. it's an exciting and vibrant time. Since returning from Brisbane, life is buzz-ing with an array of wonderful opportunities.


On Tuesday I commenced my new position within the School of Nursing at ACU at the Melbourne campus (great city location); on Wednesday the papers from the Commune de Sedegliano arrived (after three months I have the documents I require to proceed with visa applications); on Friday I move into my beach side apartment in Elwood (...ahhh...) and relocate some of my treasures; and on the weekend I'm looking forward to catching up with the girls over a glass of wine as we overlook the sea and going sea kayaking "locally".

My heart melts

...with their sweet & innocent kisses.

Matthew & James

Pure joy & hope

It arrived in the mail today.... YEAH!!!

Passion

I want more passion ...much, much more passion in my life please.

Family

(above & left) Mum & Zia Pierina, (right) Jules, Zia pierina & Mum, (below) Kevin, Zia Pierina, Jules & Mum.

The language of my heart

My heart speaks a language that is sometimes foreign to me; but if I listen, breathe quietly and wait... the sensations and images become clearer and the steps towards the next opportunity become more tangible.

It can be done. What we dream and want our lives to be can be achieved. Naturally not everything can be achieved at once. Nor is it easy to fulfill our dreams. But I think we question too much. We need to have faith, give moments in our lives air and space to breathe and learn to trust and follow our hearts.

The Geography of Love

Glenda Burgess states that 'Our stories are not easily brushed aside...In the wake of my loss I realise that what we both wanted was unconditional love. Life distills in the elements of chaos and chance. The past is the only place my heart doesn't hurt. Oh what have I learned of atoms and love? They dance.

Our beginnings and our endings intersect in such particular, intimate geography.

Bris-vegas

Even though we were both aiming for a quiet time - we enveloped our week together with a myriad of conversations & activities - yoga & cycle classes at day break that caused our limbs to ache; dining with delightful & inspiring people; possibly the launch of a new career as the Dr's & Nurses florists; our creative minds were entertained at the Optimistic Exhibition at GOMA and later our taste buds were indulged with delicious gourmet seafood at their restaurant; we vainly compared the color and finish of nail vanishes at the Asian beautician salon; playfully got frock-ed up for your Cocktail PARTY; & enjoyed our night in accompanied by muscat wine, an antipasto platter an a gorgeous animation DVD called Wallie.

Thanks Jess for a love-ly time in cosmopolitan & sunny Bris-vegas.

Gym Girls at Meccah Bar, Brisbane