Being Jules

Happy Birthday Lamme

"Will that be a skinny latte then?"

I miss you Lamme.

Happy Birthday

Love Jules

Chariots

'Flaccos Chariot': A portrait of Paul Livingston submitted by Paul Jackson for the Archibald 2009.

In describing 'Flaccos Chariot' Paul Jackson states “do we not all long to be transported by something in our lives that will carry a special significance & leave us with indelible fond memories?”... “do we not carry within our chariot the baggage that we think we need for the journey?”

Adoring glances

Although it's nice to be called the 'gorgeous one' and to have tenderness and companionship in my intimate world again; I don't feel comfortable in this new relationship yet. I tell him that 'my heart and head is elsewhere' and to not allow 'me to seep any further into his consciousness' because I believe that it's the truth and because I want to protect him from falling in love with me.

Maybe what I'm really doing is protecting Jules, because I can't imagine falling or fragmenting again.

I enjoy his company and just want it to stay like this... besides I just got the pieces of my heart together again and I'd like to stay like this for a while.

It's hard to focus when your heart is aching.

A tribute

...The dead are never gone,
they're in the breast of a woman.,
they're in the crying of a child,
in the flaming torch.
The dead are not in earth:
they're in the dying fire..,
the weeping grasses,
whimpering rocks,
they're in the forest, they're in the house,
the dead are not dead.

- Ibn Al Arabi (1165-1240)

Wind in my sail

First there was Valentino (still my first and greatest love) then there was Peugeot and now Apollo. Cycling along the coast as the day breaks and the clouds shimmer on the waters edge, makes me smile and puts the wind in my sail.

Repose

Poet #7

Ben Ellis author of the play Poet #7 writes

"Falling out of love is called breaking-up for good reason. Memories, memories of aromas, of music, of sights of stories, all fragment. Falling in love is a rush of this in reverse, fragments pulling together"

More poetic inspiration...
http://aspectjones.blogspot.com/

No soup, just wine

Come Friday evening, the mind & body normally aches to be nestled into the folds of your doona or sofa.

Yet instead of repose you find yourself teasing thoughts from the air over the rim of a glass of red, with a new companion.
You know the kind of evening that turns your world a little onto it's toes.
An unexpected twist to a long working week.

And the stars illuminate the night sky.

Impromptu dinners are always fun.

Good luck Cathy-babe

Over endless oysters & wine this evening we celebrated Cathy's temporary departure from Melbourne.

Cathy is going to work as a clinical nurse for Indigenous communities in the Northern territory, for Remote Australian Health Corps.

I'll miss you tremendously babe and look forward to our next wine together at "The European".

You have a unique capacity to give to humanity, tremendous compassion & grace. You are cherished.

Travel safe and continue to pursue all your dreams.

Winter Jules

MIMMS

The "Black Saturday" natural disaster made me realise that it was important for me to utilise my skills, knowledge and expertise to help in future medical responses.

Over the past two days, I have be attending the Victorian Department of Human Services Major Incident and Medical Management and Support Course (MIMMS) at the Royal College of Surgeons in Melbourne. The course was stimulating and has expanded my knowledge, skills and confidence to participate in a large scale medical response.

After successfully completing the course I now am on a Victorian database of qualified medical professionals and I am now able to respond and participate in future national disasters.

Queen's Birthday weekend

When Jamilla and I were studying nursing, one of the BIGGEST social events in our calendar was the Queen's Birthday weekend. It was the official opening of the Victorian ski season (read "party opportunity"). Along with a group of our friends, we would drive up to Mt Buller after Uni on Friday afternoon and would stay at one of the ski Chalet's on the mountain. The entire weekend was full of spontaneous fun, laughter and lots of alcohol. We seriously let our hair down and partied-like-we-had-never-partied-before (or since). It was wild. Vivid and fantastical memories. Like the time we walked into the Alberg Hotel, stood in the doorway and at the top of our voices announced with our arms raised "Let the party begin, because WE have arrived!"...

Jamilla, who were those girls...? And where are they now?

Night duty

Emergency nursing allows me to utilise my personality, intellect, compassion, and my people and resource management skills. After twenty years of clinical nursing, I still adore the professional challenges, find it a privilege to be able to work so closely with people and am inspired by my medical and nursing colleagues.

As a clinical nurse specialist in emergency nursing, I never want to lose my clinical expertise, judgement, knowledge and skills. Therefore in addition to my full time position as a lecturer, I have continued to work clinically at St V's.

Given that it's the Queen's Birthday weekend, I've swapped the ski boots and party shoes* for navy flats and a stethoscope and am taking this opportunity to work a few night shifts in ED. Many of my colleagues find working night duty disruptive to their normal sleep-rest patterns, but I've always preferred the nocturnal timezone and so for me I really enjoy working night duty. Actually, whilst I was writing my masters thesis I worked full-time permanent night duty at St V's in ED for 3years.

Overnight the ED atmosphere, patient acuity and workload can vary greatly; clinical cases can range from blunt and penetrating trauma injuries following assaults and motor vehicle accidents, mental health and prevalent co mobilities issues, general medical and surgery cases, and overdoses.

Working at St V's is like dropping in to visit my extended family.

* Queen's Birthday weekend (circa 1991-93).

Carousel

I updated my blog profile tonight. The new description seems to capture the essence of now.

When friends ask "How are you Jules?" I often pause before replying. As this allows me to weigh the balance of how I'm feeling about my current situation versus desires and dreams. I know that my life is rich and that I have so much to be thankful for; but it is those things which I do not have, that makes me yearn for more.

Cathy once said that our yearning or desires is what creates the energy that moves us forward (or around in circles).

Trying to stay focused on our dreams and maintaining momentum is difficult at times. Sometimes there seems like there are endless obstacles before us. Often it seems as though the path is completely barren and with no signposts in sight.

But even if we feel as though we are standing on a carousel, it is our vision and our emotions that inspire us to keep believing.

We are what we believe.
What we believe is what we become.
And what we become is what we once believed we could be.

12 Angry Men

Over the past 5 days I have been fulfilling one of my civil duties and have been a jury member for a criminal court case. It was a stimulating, demanding and interesting experience. As in 12 Angry Men the verdict was not unanimous, so we had to be empaneled for one day to deliberate, analyse and synthesise the evidence and to debate the validity, accuracy and creditability of the witnesses. As the elected forperson I also had the responsibility of chairing our discussions and to deliver the verdict. The experience was a juxtaposition between being very intense and surreal and it is strange to know that you might never met again the people with whom you shared this intense experience with.