After a much needed sleep in, I've just wandered back from the local cafe after having had my Saturday morning latte and perusal of the weekend paper, whilst seated in the sun; and I've been thinking...
I love being in Melbourne because I love being near family and close friends, my abode by the bay, my study and professional commitments.
Teaching nursing students has reignited my passion and is so fulfilling. This position has given me the ability to express myself intellectually; to foster a new generation of nurses; to nurture, mentor and inspire them; immense freedom and autonomy. It is a great joy and I feel fulfilled and blessed.
After much hesitancy, debate and day dreaming, I commenced a study plan towards a Masters in Art Curatorship at the University of Melbourne this year. Although 'taking the plunge' has been exciting and challenging, the new perspectives that have developed, have been illuminating.
My period in Italy in June/July brought the clarity and closure I had been yearning for. Even though I was heartbroken, the experience enabled me to finally understand and to truly know. Since returning, in this aspect of my life I've been able to pause.
Play-time and moments of reflection have been rather sparse and unconventionally conventional this year and my most favoured activity has become sleep. On paper, life looks balanced, but I know I need more spontaneity and carefree expression...
In three weeks I am leaving to undertake another international multi disciplinary medical team deployment contract to East Timor. A wonderful opportunity both personally and professionally. My contact concludes on December 31 2012. Actually my flight is scheduled to a drive in Melbourne on New Years Eve at 23.59hrs. Interesting hey....
2013.... What will next year be about??? At the moment I don't want to contemplate it. I couldn't imagine designing another year's worth of commitments - not now... I've planned to take two weeks off in January 2013 after I return from East Timor. Two slow, lazy, sleepy, fish n'chips on the beach, sun-kissed and water lodged weeks by the bay. Then during this time, I'll gather thoughts and plan the year.
One thought I have for the coming year "is to fly away and spend three months somewhere that inspires me artistically and culturally". Because for as much as I love Melbourne, it doesn't nurture me on that level. I crave immersion in foreign landscapes and ancient Architecture, languages and expressions, handsome men and women, textile draped silhouettes, the scents and ambience. I need to connect to that trilogy between: who I am; how I see myself; and what I want to be.
I have come to understand that the opportunity to work in Europe is nearly impossible and that being in these historical and fantastical cities alone can be at times lonely and confronting, especially after having experienced it "so completely"; but I miss being there (not every day, but particualrly when I stop and think about it, or hear someone refer to Florence, Paris etc on the radio or in the paper). I can't explain it any other way, except that what I want for my life is to know that I can "be" "there". And I know now that I don't need to explain it to anyone or have anyone understand it. I just need to honour this belief. And so somehow or in someway I will continue to find a way to return for a month of more each year.
