In stillness comes unexpected clarity. When my mind is still, I reflect upon beautiful memories, experiences and my love story which began in Florence, because it was a time in my life when I felt immensely joyous, connected to someone and hopeful.
It has taken me a long time to relinquish my emotions, faith and commitment. To unravel my (re)actions and to understand why I decided to decline his proposal on Elwood beach in Summer 2008, and in the back of my mind, I have kept replaying this pivotal moment because I wanted to understand, to forgive myself, to accept and finally to move forward.
It has taken me a long time to relinquish my emotions, faith and commitment. To unravel my (re)actions and to understand why I decided to decline his proposal on Elwood beach in Summer 2008, and in the back of my mind, I have kept replaying this pivotal moment because I wanted to understand, to forgive myself, to accept and finally to move forward.
What I now understand is that I was trying to be true to him and to myself. I didn't lie. I did not play a game. I didn't say yes just because we loved one another and this seemed like a viable option. I declined, because I believed that we could not share an enduring future together.
That moment on Elwood beach was our destiny point. I/we just didn't realise it at the time.
When we walk, one foot is in the past, whilst one is in the future. Clarity also occurs when we live life, one day at a time.
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