Monday, 28 September 2009

Stumbling block

Last week I made a decision. A decision that I believed was right for me. I still believe that it is the right decision, it's just that the decision has implications and these implications make me afraid. Afraid.. Is that the right word...? I'm not sure. That's the point I'm not sure that I can pull this off.
The stumbling block. I always stumb my toe on it. I come so far and then I stop and hold my breath. I don't leap back. I don't shield my face. I just suspend myself.
What does this achieve? Although intellectually I know that the suspension is unproductive and to wait in limbo may jeopardise the opportunites that lay ahead; it is the soul that deliberates. Why? because I'm scared that what I want will eventuate and then I'll either: rejoice because my hearts' desire exceeded my expectations; rejoice because the desire has come to fruition and is manageable; or be disillusioned because I choose the wrong destiny and I feel unhappy with my choices.
How do I get around this block? How do I open my eyes and stop myself from tripping up on the stumbling block? This time I know the elephant is in the room and this time I need to walk straight forward into the unknown.
Be honest.
Be afraid.
Be.

In order to be all you want to be beyond this moment
Be.

No comments: