Marco sent me an email today stating that he was 'living his life, and sharing his time with someone' and that he didn't want my new experience in Florence 'to hold him in the picture'.
Ouch!. Yes, but also an answer to my prayers. Not the answer I had expected and hoped for but a clear message. Painfully clear.
Naturally I'm curious to know more: to search answers for when; where; how; and even why..?but mostly I'm sad and feel lost. I still love Marco and I thought he felt the same.
Obviously I'm misguided and my heart is disguising information memo-ed to my brain.
I'm scheduled to arrive in Firenze in three days and Marco is meeting me at the airport. To be honest, I'm have such mixed emotions about seeing him. Emotions range from: feeling the need to be self protective; wanting him to sweep me in his arms and tell me that he loves and adores me; wanting to feel confident, desirable and beautiful; needing him to leave me alone completely; wanting him to know how much he has hurt me...and how much I deeply want him even despite of this... and above all it is my longing to be with him that scares me completely.
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