Night shift at Singapore Airport

It is 3am in Singapore and 5am in Melbourne. I should have been arriving in Melbourne at this time, but due to flight delays, it seems like I''m doing a night shift at Singapore Airport. Thank fully I'm well prepared and accustomed to the unexpected, so I am going to enjoy this extension of my holiday and make use of the time by editing photos from Italy whilst I listen to Radio Subasio and sip some Dandelion tea.

  

... I am getting kind of peck-ish though. Maybe it is time I go for a wander and order some Singapore noodles...



Farewell my love

Leaving Firenze is always difficult. On the eve of previous departures, I was always trying to grasp one-final-image or experience, to capture it's essence; but everything always seemed to pale into insignificance against her beauty and my feelings.

Today however as I sat on Ponte Santa Trinita eating a gelati and admiring the midday sun's reflection of the Ponte Vecchio in the Arno River, I felt the still and silent truth that just as Summer follows Winter - One day I will return - and for now that gives me the grace and ease to flow out of Firenze. 

What is it about Firenze that you love so much? I wish that I could find the words to express the engimatic sensations and sensibilities that Italy (or Firenze) ignites within me - but I can't because...

Love...

goes beyond rhyme or reason,

can surpasses good and bad times,

is transient, cyclical, life giving and engaging,

should be cherished, nurtured and protected,

changes everything from that moment on,

asks for reckless abadonment, vulnerability and courage,

can move mountains,

makes you weep, laugh and fly,

gives you the innocence and wonder of a child,

ignites all your senses,

curbs your inhibitions,

and gives liberty and life.

Some people search their whole lives for personal expression, fullfillment, synergy and passion. I feel blessed to have found it here.

Farewell my love... until next time we meet.

Pasquetta at Mugello

Celebrated Pasquetta with international and dear friends at Sabine, Alessandro's and Naomi's holiday villa in Mugello, Firenze.

This evening as we got in the car to drive home to Firenze, Armen turned to Carmen and I and said "Today was really beautiful. It felt like we were with family".

So true. We spent the day in a real casual and fee spirited mode and we all forgot about everything beyond the Chianti hills. We feasted on local food and wine, went for a mid afternoon walk in the country, sat around the kitchen table, talking and sharing life stories and ambitions and laughed for hours whilst playing a crazy language game - and with five different nationalities it was immensely amusing! It was a really beautiful and relaxing day.

Armen (born in Jordan, Carmen's partner), Alessandro (Born in Florence, Sabine's husband), (Aussie, Fluilian-Florentine) Jules, Sabine (born in France) and Carmen (born in Romania). Photo taken by Naomi.

Removal of weight

Riccardo Benassi' contemporary art installation I can't wait tomorrow (2011) at Palazzo Strozzi, Firenze.

The "removal of weight" from matter and the subtle presence of sound do not entail the absence of proponent strength; on the contray, they seek an intensity and a density that is based on the attempt to offer subjectivity as a new yardstick for space and time, the crucial co ordiantes in any experience. Space opens up onto new prospects and new viewpoints, while normal passage of time is dilated and modified.

Speranza

This morning I stood shoulder to shoulder in the crowded Piazza Il Duomo to watch Scoppio del Carro (explosion of the cart) - a Florentine tradition used to celebrate Easter - and as the dove flew out of the Basilica di Santa Maria del Fiore and into the cart to ignite the spectacular fireworks, I reflected upon this symbolic referrence to new hope and life.

The Italian word Speranza (hope), for me is a word filled with beauty and tenderness.

With the speranza for love, work and the chance to create a future in Italy, I returned to Florence again this year and even though things have changed, I have changed and the outcomes are not what I want - my prayers have been answered and there is clarity and closure.

Florence will probably always resonant with me. Especially as my experiences in recent years have been deeply important to me, but no matter how much I truly love being here, at this point in time I do not sense and believe that I can create a home and future here.  It's time to embrace truth and focus my energies on new beginnings.

Scoppio del Carro, Piazza Il Duomo

Basilica Santa Trinita

Ghrilando frescoes.

Contemporary Art, Palazzo Strozzi

Clarity

On Wednesday I was seated in my terrace quietly concentrating on the final preparations of Hold me with your heart, when a text from Marco came through. He was asking me whether I wanted to spend the weekend together (that is Easter Saturday and Sunday). His message was unexpected, but joyous and I quickly responded affirmatively via a text. Then Marco sent another text confirming the invitation. No details were specified just a mutually joyous response.

In hindsight, it may have been better had I rung him (rather than continue via texts), but it was late and I was trying to complete the book. Besides I was confident that we would talk further the following day. However I never received that call. This was very atypical for Marco and by Saturday evening I had become genuinely concerned that something terible may have happened to him. Then after leaving several messages on his mobile phone, at 7pm Easter Saturday night he sent me a text stating that he was "... away for the weekend... fixing a boat with friends". I thought that I must have misunderstood his inital intent and immediately rang Marco for clarification.

Initially the conversation was amicable and polite, but when he began to unapolegetically explain that he was away for the entire weekend and suggested "we could catch up on Monday" I got upset.

Perhaps it had been evident for some time that things needed to be clarified, but I had intended to have this conversation face to face not over the phone. Sometimes, we have to be in the moment and grasp the opportunites as they preent themselves.

I sensed that this would be our last opportunity to say what needed to be said. So I took a deep breath and with all the courage I could muster, dived in and asked the difficult questions that I needed to have answered.

Woven through his words and responses were many emotions, but the message was clear our beautiful story of love and friendship was over.  It is never easy to hear from someone you love that they want to proceed with their life and desires without you, but I needed to know how he felt and where we stood and having experienced his intense love, adoration and trust, I susepcted that things had changed, but until that moment I had been unwilling to accept it. Especially because for me to walk away from someone I love with my body, soul and mind is inconvevable.

In his final words to me, he said "I'm getting nervous now". I don't know exactly what he intended to say or why, but there was no point continuing. And as I placed the phone on the receiver, my heart was quivering with sadness and I felt like I'd been drenched by cold rain. I was numb to my core.

In time, I will understand with a deeper clarity that I choose a love story that allowed me to swim, breathe and fly, but one that never promised me more. To be honest, when this beautiful, nurturing and enlightening love story began I didn't want anything more; but in recent years I have come to realise that I want to love someone who makes me feel like this and with whom I can create a future with.

Easter Saturday

Andrea Mantegna Dead Christ. c. 1500. Oil on canvas. Galleria Brera, Milan, Italy.

Good morning my love

In the middle of my morning walk today, I sat for some time at Piazza Michelangelo to admire her beauty and sensibilites and to reflect upon the emotions she ignites within me.

My beloved Firenze, still takes my breath away every time I see, hear or sense her. Firenze represents personal, cultural and artistic expression. Each day that I am here, she inspires, nutures and delights me. Every time I see Il Duomo, the Ponte Vecchio or the Arno River; walk or cycle along a cobblestone lane or through the Tuscan countryside; listen or engage in an Italian conversation; sip a latte at a bar; or engage in a simple activity - it is with the deep and pure pleasure of a child.

The other night I had dinner with two Italian friends who I have known since 2007. I admire and have a great affinity with Claudia and Lorenzo. Our time together is always cherished because they are earnest and engaging.

During our evening together we were discussing traveling when they asked me where I intend to travel to next. After a brief moment of sincere contemplation I replied that although I want to experience ...The Hermitage in St Petersbourgh, The Great Wall of China and trek Tibet... at this stage in my life I have no real desire to travel or explore anywhere at the moment. I just want to live, work and love in Melbourne and in Florence. To be serene, happy and inspired in these two places which I love so much.

Cycling in Florence

Good Friday, Grassina



Good Friday Play, Grassina

Part 1. Garden of Gethsemane.

Part 2. Last supper.

Part 3. Stations of the Cross.

Morning sensation

When I woke up this morning, I thought that I was at home in Melbourne and that my stay in Italy was over. With this thought came a wave of melancholy and as I began to contemplate what it was like to "have been in Firenze", I hesitantly opened my eyes and glanced about my apartment. However the vision before me, didn't reassure me. Instead it seemed like a lovely dream and I felt really sad.
So I got out of bed and opened up the wooden shutters in the kitchen.
As the cool air brushed against my skin, I heard the soothing sounds of local church bells and birds.

Finally I could breath deeply and be happy, realising and appreciating that for a few more days, I was still at home in Firenze.

Poetry

One of the things I wanted to do whilst I was in Italy this time, was to print and bind the book of poems I have been composing over the last 15 months.

After many discussions, the colloborative process is complete and Hold me with your heart is now in the hands of a Florentine book binder. I am having two copies prepared and will collect them on Wednesday. One of the copies I will take with me to Melbourne and one I will leave here in Firenze.

Tuscan Cooking

Manuela, Maltilda and Maria Novella - the delightful cooks from the Authentic Cooks. The traditional Tuscan cooking class was held in Manuela's captivating villa in the Chianti region of Tarvenella, Firenze. During the class we learnt to prepare two appetising crostini's; pepperoni and a pesto based mix. Using organic ingredients we made the pasta for the lasagna and fettuccine. Then we made an incredible Tiramisu. After our preparations, my fellow apprentices and I sat down to enjoy our Tuscan meal, at a long table decorated with flowers and accompanied by Chianti wine, a view of hills etched with Cypress tree and engaging conversation. A wonderful experience.

Below are some video's taken of Manuela demonstrating how to preapre the pasta dough.



Authentic Tuscany

During the first few days in Florence, whilst I was leisurely sitting in my apartments courtyard sipping a latte, I sketched together a rough idea of experiences I wanted to pursue whilst in Florence this time. Amongst them was the idea to attend an authentic Tuscan cooking class in the Chianti region. After some research I found the fabulous Authentic Tuscany  http://www.cooking-class-authentic-tuscany.com/ A one day cooking class held by local women in a spectacular villa from the 1500s in the Chianti hills, in Tuscany.

Cycling, Florentine style

Casa del Vino

Casa del Vino has always been one of my favourite little wine bars or entoceas in the heart of Firenze. The owners Bruno e Gianni Migliorini have created the most charming locale and admist the wooden paneling and rustic interior one can mingle freely with locals, sample local and national wines and select from a delicious degustazione menu and simple buffet.

view from Casa del Vino via dell'Ariento 16r Firenze.

Retail therapy

I haven't shopped like this for years and I'm LOVING it.

Every day, I seem to do the same thing. I'm out and about on my way to do this-or-that and then I pass a shop, enter with the intent of "only looking thank you" and then gradually the potential to capture a little piece of Florence and take it home with me lures me in. All these beautiful bags, shoes, accessories, furnishings...  are just so very, very enticing.

New life

At the Palm Sunday mass this evening the priest gave us the following blessing. "May Easter bring you new life".

Latey, I have been reflecting upon the concept of fear in our lives and trying to articulate what I fear. At first, I believed that I feared 'committment' or rather the notion of someone or something suppressing my love, liberty and dreams. However I realise that what I fear in this moment of my life, is that I will find security, fulfillment and happiness on my own again.

I realise (admit) that one of the reasons why I love being in Firenze is because this is where I learnt to love, be free and feel more in my adage with someone, than on my own. It was here that my heart opened and I stopped finding mountains to trek, oceans to traverse and challenges to overcome (alone).

Then at a certain point, I ran away from this love story and everything changed... and I will never know what may have been, had I had the courage to stay.

In the years since, although things have changed and our relationship has changed, I have always maintained hope that one day I could find that balance here again. Most probably it is these feelings that have been drawing me to Firenze each year.

In contrast to previous years, this year there is no home where my heart can rest and expectations driven by my head are not coming to fruition. And while these changes have created confusion and disillusionment, it is probably mean't to be like this, because when I tossed that stone into Swansea beach, my hearts desire was not to achieve more, but to be able to share and create a future with someone.

So over these remaining days in Firenze, I will allow my heart to wander, dance and sing. I will embrace a new life and I will not be afraid of all the possibbilites this unknown and uncharted future will bring.

La pentola

After mass at Piazza Michalengelo had finished I paused for a few moments to admire Firenze and eat a gelato, but as dusk settled a cool breeze began and as I walked home along the Arno and along historic streets I started to feel weary, cold and a little hungry. Fortunately I found this gorgeous little local osteria 'La Pentola dell'Oro Osteria' in via di Mezzo.

My heart's desires were aptly met and as I walked home along local cobblestone lanes I pulled up the collar of my velvet jacket and smiled.

La Columba

8837km

Today my heart felt free as I lesiurely cycled along a bike path that follows the Arno River from Parco Cascine in Firenze to Lastra Signa. Along the way, I stopped at Parco R.enai for a bite to eat, watched the people windsurfing and sailing on the lake and smiled when I saw this sign.... only 8837km divide Firenze and Sydney.

Palm Sunday, San Niccolo



Inaugarazione dalla mostra da Martina

After the exhibition, we went to a local wine bar and then a cantina that plays a mizx of live and DJ music. As the night drew to a close and the first sight of daylight became apparent, those that remained began to walk together back to the location of the art exhbit. 

Then just as we were about to bid one another arreverderci, I remembered reading about the all night pasteries in Florence. Keen to explore whether "warm brioches served through a small door in the middle of the night" were of fact of fiction, we walked together to one of the bakeries and stood patiently waiting for the door to open. 

Rumors had also indicated, that once the noise level becomes too high, frustrated and sleep deprived locales throw buckets of water from their windows. Unfortunately many of the those that were gathered around us were intoxicated and spoke in high pitched voices, which resulted in the unexpected drenching of all my friends. As we walked home through the cold night air, with soaked clothes and damp hair, we nestled the brioche in the fold of our hands and giggled - it felt like we were eighteen again.

San Niccolo