Sadly sometimes our dreams do not end as we had hoped. In these moments, initially there is tremendous pain, and palpable melancholy. Bright colours become hues and we become a shade of ourselves. We move forward tentatively and feebly feeling the weight of our doubts, fears and questions. Since returning from Trento I have been just wanting to go "home". To stop wanting, hoping, trying, being.. I didn't care that I was in Italy, that I was in the midst of this precious experience, that I'd made so many sacrifices to be here and that I needed to focus, to make the most of this opportunity. I felt hollow. That I was either not enough or too much. Then somehow at a certain point this afternoon, just as unexpectedly as these feelings had arisen, I began to feel that I can move forward and that I'll be okay. Maybe not "gorgeous" and great, but okay.
